life commentary, poetry, personal writings and photograpy


Please help.


I'm an investment, I'm good, I'm great,  I have so fucking much to offer but no one cares. I hate this, I hate knowing so much, I hate life, happiness and potential, I just want to be nothing as I deserve or everything as I have earned, why is this me? Why? Why? Why?
I'm not looking for pity, acknowledgement, noticed, effort, reality, something for all this. Why? Really, why? I don't get it, I want such simple pleasures, I'm so easily pleased, I'm true of heart, I love love, I am fueled by peace and happiness, I should be so great and successful, who hates me and why? I don't deserve this pathetic existence but it's all on me, I blame no one, I never hate, I never blame but I absorb hate and blame like I deserve it. 
Let me go then, I should just go, I should quit, quit life, quit effort, quit being me, I'm nothing anymore. I hate you, me that is...

Life is a piece of shit

I just ate expired green beans heated with a torch in the can. Not satisfying in the least, I feel like I'm a survivalist in some post apocalyptic world living desperate and pathetic yet I work so hard and I'm hated. I'm not a loser but the world says I am. I'm sad and pathetic but I'm great and amazing. I'm nothing and everything. I hate myself but only because I am told to.
Help me.
Someone please help me.

At least it's not...

Closing time
Too late 
Last call
On empty
The last shot
20 miles from home
The worst I've done
Selling my soul
During work
Filthy sex
Morally wrong 
Wretched desperation
Fueled by self hatred
The worst thing I have ever done in my entire existence on this earth
Fueled by sex
Just plain stupid
My very last dollar
All I am
Known by others
My peak
Who I really am...


There's no such thing as clean sex, there's always baggage, worries, risk, love or no love? No, it's sex. It can't be that simple but it is. It's getting off, feeling good, we all need it. Why so complicated? I know the differences, I know how to express with or without love. Passion is passion, heat is heat and it all feels good. There's no reason to hold back or give it all. Just feel good. Everyone should just feel good first and let the world happen around that.