How I miss that being, that beautiful form, that soul that connected me. She is so gone, so hateful of myself. It is so hard to give up but so rational and correct, yet so completely wrong.
Day and night
I don't want to sleep anymore, my dreams are haunting me. Pathetically tearing in my sleep. I don't cry, but apparently I do. Wretched saline wakes me in the night or encrusts my eyes as I find then un-openable in the morning. Horrible, horrible reality found in even the most mystical of worlds. Peace isn't found, it's all kind of a joke. I miss so much. It's driving me mad. Mostly sad...
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