life commentary, poetry, personal writings and photograpy

Lately

Good. Quite good, honestly. The simplistic joys of eight hour shifts, cashing a note, restocking of essential leaves and after contributions to the system, a long night of elixirs and repeating orgasmic, expressive memories.
There is nothing else, essentially. The cock is satisfied, the mind is altered. Things are complete and time has been earned. One has the right to be comfortable.

went

Post and post. There is the point. Bouncing off letters only to encourage others to waste more time.

Take another

Well it at comes back anyway. At least I have air and escape. I do not know what this is, what it is for, or why, but there it is and always will be. I cannot think about anything anymore, there really is no plan. I have stated such things before, but the enormity of it all is just too real. I have lost. I have nothing, but its just fine.
$4 each? Thats it? I will be just fine then. I only need the simplest of chemical quantities. The time is no ones. The climax is within, raging to burst out and fuel mad thoughts of selfish admissions. The weakest of emotions are the most obvious. The need for pathetic reality is not understood. I must not rest.
o the inebriation of the mind.

here I am, you son of a bitch

O what have I done? I never get enough, I cannot resist you. What do I fear? What is fear? I do not care of you and your services. My needs are of needs.
The pain was there, but not the cushioned slap of trueness and damp places.
Everything that meant something has only been a small wooden box. Time is made of paper. There was a loud grinding pulse released in amplified bursts when least expected. The rest is as it was. It is very tired outside.
Why do these colors continue to scream at me? No commands or facts, just incessant, sharp spikes of noise. Tie it down, drench it in water and lay it to rest.
There are no new reasons. Sleeping soundly as the steel only grows colder and deteriorates further. The smell of rust and perfume radiates from my core.
I have grown weary of this. I have overdosed on stupid little white pieces of chalk.

that's what I said

Profoundary tranquilities of overwhelming proportions. These things I believe were always meant to be. An abstraction, if you will, and yes, I do. The silence only makes my head swell. The times I had were priceless and over. The point was, and still is as it never could be.

I am.

and thats all...

fuck

After we had passionate and loving intimacies, I held her tight and whispered in her ear with a soulful tone of satisfaction; someone else's name...

here it was

Posts? What posts? What useless information have I left for no one to read? This vent, rant, and idiotic release continues. In my phases of loss of mind and soul, direction and control, I must release this energy, though not in a positive way, at least limit myself away from the negative. Distractions as they are, the drugs, the lame "artistic" release, the indulgence of sexual perversions and selfish feel goods of the only realities I care to acknowledge. I continue to write, to sculpt, to masturbate, to do nothing and everything at a constant force of going nowhere for a climax of pure nothing. Enjoy.

ok?

7887E649HJNG

Sex and drugs

Adding to the list at blistering speed. O life and realities. I am here, I am there, I am gone. Abnormalities and excruciations lost. Pleases and climactic peaks are unobtainable. Enlightened nothingness, deep, thorough understanding of the complexities, functionalities and conclusions of nothing. As it should, my dear.
Let us see what this does to me...
I have a small television, its color.
surrounded by mod cozyness
large warmed dog at my side
a few pills, even a leaf
cocoa beans and various crushed plants of indulgence
comforted bones but nothing more.

happyness


what now

I don't really know what to think anymore. I do not know what I want, I do not think I even do. wait. what?
compose
pubic
phuctupness
s ha2 3h
 bfj x me kakkl e nn                               
ha[ppy jddj s
thst notreally flkng to eorl
i dnulh jshe dhjkmmrf s  3.knj 4k re wnk
oh whi
youir stupid yure stuipd stupid fool stipid stupid stuutid fucking stupied stuipiud fuckjinbhg stupiod woirthjlkersds foiolk stipid fiuchuing stoioud soi os so stiupinb fiuck thius sdtupoid yioui fuck tyis stiupiod lifew yuou aerer too satupiod,
In fuvked up
Thud I'd t tight st all
Nothing is.
I ha r no powers, no control, ivegit nothing here, babe.
Fuck
I hate this
This
I need more drugs
Less
Fucked
I've got a plain and no do you
That's all
It is though
I'm noted
I did
I wouldn't before

There

I am in such a haze. Man, I'm so confused. I have no more need for emotion. Blatant publicly stupidness. This wasn't the way it is. I was me, it was. Why? How? How could you just let that happen? Let it? It was a fight of death and despair beyond mind bugs and empty releases. But not much more. It did. I wondered why such a traditional slice of life wanting physics and science of sexual control and indulgence that only leads to more yellow pills of bright red spines running up and down the hall with booming thumps and slow passionate slides. Drift, drift out, you fucking ditz. Show yourself, naked and hard to the wind. Thinked and such things as they are. I have no idea but it all makes sense.
O then I continue. I know it is important. Since the beginning, I started. Named and scorned. I lost it, won a free scrap of flour and gained two pounds. I never thought it would be this way. I didn't know who it was that I am and when I did what didn't happen but started it all. Thats not right. It is important, however. I should study the wholesome breast.
I am not tired or drained. I feel. Thats about it. when. when.

Tonight

Fuck. I did it again. Also, earlier, I did that other thing. Damn.
I am cold.
I am tired.
I am hungry.
I am lonely.
I am bored.
I am isolated.
I am sick, sad, mad and nothing.