cracked

I am all over with worthless emotion and absurd dreams. I cannot give, I know I must, I have been nothing but trying for so long, it's not in me, it is too true and too real to deny it. I cannot stand it, it is the greatest feeling in the world, the most wretched, painful pleasure of any kind. It sickens me and makes me stronger. It drives me and collapses my whole being. It is my core and my fraudulent shell.