O life
Where have you taken me? St. Louis it is. Here for money, here for fuel. Time to sleep, time to work, when in time to get fucked up and forget the rest. Here I am.
Oh, oh yes.
Not to sound as a dick and say what you will to deny it, but I know I am an amazing lover.
Holy fuck, Jon Stewert is funny
Still going nowhere, interviews and increments of incomes, nothing to advance. I continue on with external motivations and distractions. I only get to fuck on weekends, but it's enough of a release to keep me going. Out of drugs.
Updates
Stay "tuned", I have some very important things to say and will presenting these topics and further information very soon. Of absolute and significance.
Yes.
Indeed.
Soon.
Need warmth badly.
Slip.
Sleep?
Yes.
Indeed.
Soon.
Need warmth badly.
Slip.
Sleep?
New
Laptop is gone, everything gone, thousands of pictures, thousands and weeks of music: gone. Fuck. Everything always leaves me in dismay, damn this.
That truth thing
My teeth are not stained with lies. I have so rarely lied aloud. Only simple lies, to cops or miscellaneous authorities etc. nothing real, nothing effective. No one cared. But my mind, on the other hand, is filthy with lies. To myself, who I am, who everyone else is, what the fuck life is.
Lying is generally a hated characteristic, whenever one describes a horrible person and aspects making them so, carelessness with truth is often emphasized. Caught up in the pain and frustration makes one hated, even considered evil. But I, only lie to myself. The entire struggle and hatred is within. When lies and reality collide and explode upon me, I am left in confusion, pain, hatred, left to be considered wrong and evil when truly I was only ignorant and foolish and completely self-inflicted.
Lying is generally a hated characteristic, whenever one describes a horrible person and aspects making them so, carelessness with truth is often emphasized. Caught up in the pain and frustration makes one hated, even considered evil. But I, only lie to myself. The entire struggle and hatred is within. When lies and reality collide and explode upon me, I am left in confusion, pain, hatred, left to be considered wrong and evil when truly I was only ignorant and foolish and completely self-inflicted.
i am sick
I am so confused. I know how to find happiness, I know what makes me whole, I know everything but it just isn't working. I hate myself again, i sicken myself with my existence and failures, dreams are a joke, I've known this for a long time now, all I crave is simplistic bursts of feeling good for as long as it can last. I want to quit it all, run away from my brain.
why am I hated?
why am I wrongly loved?
what am I worth to anyone or anything?
I feel nothing but a lack of everything, sadness and a dark future.
I cannot even hold down a blasted rut of repeating small opportunites of little pleasures. I have feelings inside me that I long for and make me sick.
Am I hated, or do I just hate myself?
why am I hated?
why am I wrongly loved?
what am I worth to anyone or anything?
I feel nothing but a lack of everything, sadness and a dark future.
I cannot even hold down a blasted rut of repeating small opportunites of little pleasures. I have feelings inside me that I long for and make me sick.
Am I hated, or do I just hate myself?
There aren't enough drugs
O what is the point anyway? I really don't think anything matters at this juncture. Id like to just pay back a few debts complete and disappear, figuratively, then literally, from myself and the world.
I have an itch I cannot reach,
I have an itch I cannot reach,
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