current

My confusion only grows. Of who I am am, what I am worth. I get swarmed by little hotties begging to know me, offering to pose nude for me and my art, actually wanting me purely based on so little. Yet the one I long for, desire and obsess over, thinks of me repulsive, unnattractive and useless. Am I truly unlovable? Am I wanted, or not? It seems I am worthy on some level, yet all I experience is blatent rejection. I sit here now with no friends, no love, no replenishment of the daily drains of existence. I am not a part of anything. My relationships are only within my mind and I hate that guy.